Becoming Through Friendship: My Brilliant Friend

My Brilliant Friend – The Book Series I Fell in Love With

There are stories that stay with you long after you’ve finished the last page. My Brilliant Friend, by the mysterious Italian author Elena Ferrante, is one of them.

Ferrante, whose true identity remains unknown, believes that writing should speak for itself, that a book doesn’t need the charm of a public persona to be meaningful. It’s a philosophy that feels almost radical in our era of visibility. Her novels do exactly what she promises: they speak for themselves, powerfully and openly.

A Friendship that Defines a Lifetime

Set in 1950s Naples, My Brilliant Friend follows two girls, Elena (Lenu) and Rafaela (Lila), as they grow up in a poor but vibrant neighborhood. Their friendship is complex and magnetic: full of admiration, envy, affection, and rivalry.

Through their eyes, Ferrante paints a portrait of a society where gender and class determine destiny, and where education becomes both rebellion and salvation. What begins as the story of two girls becomes a story of all women who have fought, quietly or loudly, to define their own lives.

The novel’s first ending is breathtaking, an emotional collision of class, desire, and identity. It leaves you unsettled, but in the best way.

The Story of a New Name – Learning the Cost of Obedience

In the second book, we follow Elena and Lila into young adulthood. Lila, forced into marriage, learns that becoming a wife means surrendering the very power she fought for.

Ferrante writes about violence not as spectacle, but as inherited behavior; violence that shapes women’s expectations of love and endurance. A line that haunts me still: “We had grown up thinking that a stranger must not even touch us, but that our father, our boyfriend, and our husband could hit us when they liked, out of love, to educate us.”

Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay – The Political Becomes Personal

In the third volume, Italy changes. So do Elena and Lila. It’s the 1960s and 70s, and revolution is in the air. Both women find themselves caught in the pulse of feminist and political movements, trying to reshape what it means to be female in a man’s world.

Elena writes about women’s place in society, questioning everything she was taught. Lila fights for dignity in a brutal factory environment. Both carry the weight of what is expected of them, and the cost of trying to be more.

“I thought I had to know everything, be concerned with everything... And now, after the hard work of learning, what must I unlearn?”

It’s a question that feels timeless.

The Story of the Lost Child – Returning Home

The final book brings both women back to Naples, back to the roots they tried to escape. Their lives have changed, but the intensity between them remains, a bond that defies logic and distance.

They are women shaped by their city, by ambition, by love, and by each other. And when I turned the last page, I missed them. Finishing My Brilliant Friend felt like saying goodbye to people who had quietly become part of my world.

From Page to Screen

The HBO (now on Netflix) adaptation captures the same spirit as the books: the texture of Naples, the rhythm of women’s lives, the unspoken strength of friendship. It’s beautifully done, subtle, unhurried, and deeply human.

Even through this darkness, Ferrante gives her characters an unbreakable sense of self. They stumble, they rage, they love, and they persist.

MY BRILLIANT FRIEND | Official Trailer

Why I Loved It

My Brilliant Friend is not just a story about two women; it’s a story about what it means to become yourself. It’s about friendship as a mirror, one that shows not just who we are, but who we could be.

Ferrante’s writing reminds me of what I want stories to do: to move us, to challenge us, to remind us of the fierce complexity of being a woman.

If you haven’t met Elena and Lila yet, prepare to fall in love. And when you finish the last book, don’t be surprised if you miss them too.